Earthfest and fam'ly days and camps, OH MY!

Events are busting out all over, and I couldn't be happier.

Today I got the official 'thumbs up' from the 4-H committee to use Camp Riversite for Midsummer Fest. Now it's time to get off my butt and, well, sit in front of the computer to get my paperwork and advertising together. Go fig. Thankfully my crack team of Pagan mamas (and one daddy) are on the job.

A few days ago I found out that Pizza Hut will be holding a "Family Fun Day" to be a fundraiser for Camp Heartland. This is a camp that Pizza Hut has sponsored for several years, and is for children with HIV/AIDS. Our particular store always kicks ass, typically taking first place in the area (unfortunately second last year). Basically I'll be creating a mini Kids Korner from Earthfest. A tiny scrap of scribbled-on paper and twenty minutes later, I've pretty much got the whole thing planned.

Sadly, Earthfest is sort of low on the priority list. It's not until August. There are two fundraisers in the coming month and a half, but they're pretty much set up.

Aaron's done with his temp job assignment for now, due to some totally BS circumstances. On the bright side, no more having the alarm go off hours before dawn. I'm not exactly a morning person, to say the least.

This is the stuff I live for, though. Blissfully, all the events I'm working with are family-friendly, so including Autumn, Aaron, and my friends with their kids in everything is hardly a stretch. I hate to put it this way, but I'm glad having a child hasn't taken me away from the events I love to put together. In fact, being a mom helps me look at it from a different angle, which makes these things turn out better.

Tomorrow is my day off, starting with swimming class the Y with Autumn. It's gonna be a good day.

I just don't know anymore...

I'm feeling a bit off right now, and my right hand is really, really cold, so I'm having a hellova time typing. Anywho...

So, Aaron's working a temp job this week. It's nowhere near permanant, but it kinda gets him back into the swing of things. Hopefully this is a good sign that there is at least SOMETHING out there, now. I'm not holding my breath. I think this is good for the both of us, though. It's been five months since Aaron's been out of work. Sadly, I almost feel more productive when I'm here by myself, with Autumn, of course. It's kind of this weird feeling that - even though you are married and live together - you need to entertain the other person here, which prevents me from being motivated to do housework. I don't mind housework, and Autumn is pretty cooperative when I want to get things done. I just haven't had the desire lately. Heck, I even did dishes yesterday, and that's usually Aaron's territory.

Next, I'm starting to seriously reconsider staying with Home Instead...again. We really need the little bit of extra money, but I just had two former clients pass away this week. Both were in their 30's. One passed last year, and I found out via newspaper obit the night Aaron and I went out for our anniversary. I was very close to her, so to the point that I brought Autumn to see her while she was in a nursing home. I took care of that woman through a good part of my pregnancy. These last two, I weren't particularly close to, but one was a friend of my uncle's, and the other I took care of for most of my pregnancy, even though we didn't quite "get along", per se. It's still not that easy.

I had a good workout at the Y today, though. And if I didn't this paragraph would be written much differently. I haven't lost any weight in months. I know my diet has a lot to do with that, but the timing of my job, and the fact that it's friggin' Pizza Hut is killing the whole plan. I'm feeling very stuck, and there are more and more days when I wonder why I even bother going to the Y. Like I said, today brought a good workout, where I gave myself a goal and actually stuck to it. I'm going to a weekly workout class called Zumba. It's based on a lot of Latin dance, and it's actually a lot of fun, except for the fact that I have the rhythm of a white girl. And that I'm totally envious of the gorgeous redhead that leads the class. But the participants come in all shapes, sizes and abilities, so I don't feel like I stand out, which is a good thing.

Today's been a good day so far. Autumn's sleep pattern completely meshed with what we needed it to this morning, she's taking a good nap now, and I'm feeling alright. I've been on an antibiotic for this apparently "chronic" sinus issue I've been dealing with. I had sinus problems for 6 months of my pregnancy, thinking it was just the wonky hormones. But when I got it again, I hit the doctor's office once the one month mark hit. I'm NOT going another six months like that. And it seems to be working. Yay.

Daisy's empty cage is still sitting behind me. It's been nearly a month, I just realized. And a tear is still welling up behind my eyes. We were supposed to do a little something to honor her at the Ostara ritual, but it was cancelled due to the fact that the host family came down with a nasty stomach flu. I don't know what to do with it. It's junk, really, since there's a large crack on one side. I just don't have the heart to move it yet.

Yeesh, it's been too long again...

So, first I'm going to get this out: We have "unofficially" gotten the OK to use Camp Riversite for Midsummer Fest. The chairwoman read the letter I presented and was very positive about the whole thing. She got the feeling that we are a non-profit without the legal title. I can finally get the ball rolling. YAY!!!

The good streak at the weekly Pagan discussion group that we've been attending continues. There was no illuminating realizations or anything. It's just been good. Bronwen, who recently published her first book, has spring break from school next week and wanted to take a road trip to Appleton next Tuesday, which sounds like a total blast. I'm totally looking forward to it.

Autumn continues to amaze Aaron and I. There aren't any major stories to tell or anything, she just keeps growing and getting smarter. I guess there is one story; Last week we went to our (what we can loosely call a) mall, which has a play area in the center for toddlers. Autumn was the smallest child there, as usual, and there were a few kids who were blatantly pushy and commanding, and they kept knocking Autumn off the steps for the slide. She wasn't getting physically hurt, nor did she fuss, so we let her do her own thing, no matter how irritated we got. It just amazed Aaron and myself on how unphased she was. She managed to just say "the heck with you, I'll go do someting else." Bless her heart.

There was a bunch of other crap at work, nothing major. Life goes on. I feel like there should be more to write, but I'm drawing a blank. Until next time, then...

Hey, Jane, get me off this crazy thing...

So, long story short, Daisy's teeth were just fine. The vet found multiple tumors. I don't have the heart to go through the whole thing, so I will simply direct you to Aaron's blog. He was the one to take her in to be put to sleep.

I've been crying all day on and off. I had bowling league tonight, which was little consolation.

The one positive thing that happened today was that in conversation, I discovered that my mom knows exactly which spiritual path I follow, and that she's OK with it. Several years ago, this topic came up - briefly - and my mom expressed her disappointment. My half-sister follows the same path, which she also knows, and Mom had nothing but positive things to say about her.

I'm wondering if my mom has since done some research. I know that, at the very least, she has seen me with the Earthfest crew, and of course, she attended Autumn's blessing ceremony, which was quite blatantly Pagan.

It's a relief to not have to sneak things around or use vague terms when it comes to my spiritual choices. At the very least, my family knows that this home is full of love. We are responsible, hard-working people who go day-to day normally like everyone else. We don't sacrifice goats, we don't travel on brooms (although, that would be cool), etc.

What a day. I keep looking back at the empty cage expecting a live creature to be there. She will be honored at Ostara, which appropriately celebrates new life with the symbols of eggs and rabbits. (sound familiar).

Rest in peace, Daisy. I hope you enjoyed your eight years on this earth.

Boy Scouts, Bunnies and...WTF MORE BLODDY SNOW???

Dammit, I'm so sick of winter. I usually love winter, but this one's been freakin' useless.


Anywho, tonight was Darren and Michael's annual Blue and Gold Banquet for cub scouts. It was a fun ceremony which Autumn sat so wonderfully for throughout, with a few "get the wiggles out" breaks in between. Darren completed this phase of scouts, and crossed over tonight, so that he will join Boy Scouts next year. I'm so proud of the guy.


So, of course, Samantha bought a few things for Darren to celebrate; a sash for his badges in the coming years, a Scout bookmark and a good ol' fashioned multi-tooled knife. Before the tissue paper even hit the floor, Michael's already in tears because he did not recieve any gifts. "It's not fair" is his explanation. No logic that this was Darren's time and that he will eventually get his could console the kid. I'm sorry, but he's eight. Samantha even agreed that he's at the age where no one will feel sorry for him. There's been a long-running tradition that Michael would get a gift at Darren's birthday parties so that he doesn't feel bad. I've made it well known that I think that needs to stop. From what I heard, he was a sore loser at the Pinewood Derby as well. I love Michael dearly, don't get me wrong, but his little drama fits are getting quite old. *perging complete*


Not everyone knows, but we have a rabbit named Daisy. I got her several years ago from a co-worker whose daughter was not really taking care of her. Lately I've noticed that Daisy had not been eating. Most smaller animals need a way to keep their teeth from getting to long, and somewhere along the line, I've neglected to prevent this from happening. Daisy has gotten very thin, and she will not drink her water or her rabbit feed. I've managed to get her to eat apple slices, carrots and lettuce. I'm hoping she's getting enough water in these foods. I can still her her teeth grinding when she eats, though. I'm thinking we may have to take her to the vet to get her teeth trimmed. I'm truly hoping this will help. I feel awful that I've neglected Daisy. She's somewhere between 6 and 8 years old, which is considered senior for a rabbit. It's possible that it may just be her time, but I still feel responsible. I just hope she's not suffering.


The quest to put together what I am now dubbing Midsummer Fest continues. I have a site picked out, but it is owned by 4-H, so I must prove to them that the camp will suit their mission; being family-friendly and educational. I think I'll be able to do that, I'm just trying to be delicate with the wording, as not to freak them out with our "crazy" Pagan traditions. The Tuesday night Tea and Talks group that I have been attending has some members that are very much looking forward to putting a great deal of effort into this camp. I'm totally excited to be working with them. It's pretty much up to whether or not we get the campsite. As soon as we get the thumbs up, we get to move forward from there.

The dust has settled at work. There was another brief issue that was brought up on Friday, but I was able to talk to the person right away and had it (somewhat) resolved. I don't think it will ever be completely resolved, as we are two very strong-opinioned people, but that's the way it rolls. I gotta go back to work tomorrow and drive in this white crap. I just hope it yeilds a bit of extra cash, to at least make it worth my while.

Never a dull moment

Typically, I'm totally ok with not having dull moments. I'm just one of those people who like things to be going on at all times. Except for when I'm stuck at work late three nights in a row.

I know, working in food service, staying late when needed is part of the deal, and this does happen on a regular basis. However, my boss is a bit of a Labor Nazi, so she's always making sure everyone gets out on time whenever possible. This weekend was just insane from the delivery angle, and perhaps elsewhere as well, I'd have no idea, so there I was, whether I liked it or not.

Tonight I had a meeting with the other Earthfest organizers at 7:00, which is also when I was scheduled until. So imagine my frustration when we ended up with yet another busy night. Thankfully I was out by 7:20, and the others knew I was going to be late.

This has been a rough week all around. I've been feeling very down about busting my ass at work for what seems to be little to no recognition. I've also gained back what little weight I lost. I don't have the heart to change my weight loss ticker. I'm hoping to find out if my insurance will cover my talking to a nutritionist or someone of the like at the clinic. I know the general guidelines of what I should and should not eat, but I think I need specific rules to follow. I think that will be much easier to follow as opposed to "well, I'll just have a cheeseburger here and there," And by 'here and there' I mean whenever I don't have time to have a decent bite to eat at home.

This has not been a positive week. I can feel myself slipping back into the downward spiral I went through back when I worked at Pizza Hut the first time around. I'm not going to go into great detail about those days, but I was a manic mess. Now is a different time, though. I have obligations to my husband and daughter. I have many more responsibilites, and most of all, I simply don't want to go down that path again.

I've decided I'm going to try to do a Mini-Pagan Camp this summer. There is a huge camp put together by Circle Sanctuary called Pagan Spirit Gathering (PSG). It's about a 15 hour drive from here and is getting increasingly more expensive to attend. There is a fair sized Pagan community here, and I think it's time I try to start a small gathering here.

Aaron pointed out to me that he thinks I tend to start up these projects when I need to feel in control. Or at least when I'm very much not in control at my job. My history does seem to create a connection. However, I feel like I should be doing something positive that improves the community around me. At work I don't feel like what I do is anything significant, so if there's a work/project connection, it lies in feeling valid. Plus I'm just one of those people who always needs to have something going on. He knows this about me, too.

I'm probably going to end up over my head, like I tend to do, but that's the fun of it. Seeing what your limits are. Five years ago I would have never considered this type of project. Wish me luck...

Bless me goddess, for I have slacked...

It has been nearly two weeks since my last blog and I wish I was in a better mood.

I had to work tonight, and the start of the night was, let's say, interesting. I was waitressing, and typically the first hour or so of my shift is slow enough to get some extra cleaning done. Another person was supposed to thoroughly clean the windows, and they didn't, so I volunteered. To do so, I had to (well, didn't "have to," but it made it a lot easier) sit on the table. My boss, Misty, came out to make a semi-smartass comment, which threw me off guard. I tried getting off the table, but it tipped a bit, the base snapped and it all went to hell. I did not fall, but it was a bit of a mess. Thankfully, Misty laughed at it since she was able to figure out a way to fix it.

The rest of the night was pretty standard. A few tables here and there, a few more just as I was about to clean, while annoying, not anything to ruin my night.

However, I've been feeling, for lack of a better word, underappreciated. Now, I know Misty and the other managers, except for one (that no one takes seriously anyway) actually does, indeed, appreciate what I do. I'm far from the perfect employee, I know this. But I can usually be counted on to do my job accurately, show up on time, and be pretty consistent.

The problem is that this is now the norm. We have several high schoolers who work at the Hut. Generally, I like them all. We get along quite well. But they're expected to be the goof-offs, so when they go through a night without screwing up too badly, "hip-hip hooray!" Last night I worked an extra two hours - making it a 10 hour day - to help the closing driver get prep done and help preventing what was already looking like a long night. I got a quick thank you from the closer, and that was about it.

Now, I appreciate thank you's as much as one can. I think those two words mean a lot. But again, it's not that odd for me to make sure certain things are done before I leave, no matter what the time is, so it was no big deal.

So, that's my whiny-assed work rant. I could go on about the above mentioned manager who no one takes seriously, but we'll save that for when we've got a juicy story about her. Oh yes, I've got one ready right now, but perhaps another time.

Tomorrow I don't have to work, which is a relief. But I have swimming class with Autumn in the morning and the Pagan discussion group in the evening. I'm very much looking forward to one whole day of nothing. Well, at least nothing scheduled.

Until next time, blah, blah, blah, some quasi-clever saying, etc.