Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Might as well

Hi, my name is Andrea Covey, and it's been six months since my last blog post.

I really don't know why I don't write more often. And I damn well have no excuse for not writing while somehow on the computer. I mean, I spend enough time sitting in this computer chair that I don't know why I haven't invested in a new, more comfortable chair...but I digress.

I can't say life sucks. It doesn't...usually. I have amazing friends and an incredible family who's always got our back. But in the past months we have struggled how to handle custody of my stepsons, as they are being tossed around like a hackey sack at the whims of a "woe is me" martyr of a mother, full with child, when she can't afford the first two. That's the short, short, short version. A dear friend who moved from Wisconsin just over a year ago is battling breast cancer, another dear friend recently moved out of state, also for job reasons, a third is in the midst of a family hailstorm involving a mentally unstable sister and three children being held in Mexico, and the political climate in the state of Wisconsin is a down right disaster. None of these things can I control with a push of a button, and it's maddening.

I don't have control issues. At least, I'm pretty sure I don't. But I'm also of the mindset that if you don't get off of your duff and do something about the problems around you, you have no right to complain. Of course, I have no control over friends moving away, and I do not hold the cure to Cancer. I cannot speed up the process of the Mexican government, nor can I bitch slap some sense into Scott Walker, though many of my good friends would like to have a go at it.

Which leaves the situation with the boys. I could write a novel depicting in great detail what this school year has been like for Darren, Michael, Aaron and myself. I won't. Let's just say that Jim Morrison was right. "The time to hesitate is through."

Believe it or not, some good has come of the last few months. Autumn continues to grow and thrive, three-year-old attitude and all. ESP - The Eclectic Sheboygan Pagans - has found a new home for meetings which is proving to be a much-needed change. I'm just on the verge of getting my shit together so I may go back to school in August to be a masssage therapist, though it's an intimidating concept. I have also been dedicated into Her Cauldron coven, and I am loving every minute of it. The women in the coven are amazing, one of which is my half-sister by blood, but we're all sisters as far as we're concerned.

I love my life, and I really strive to remind myself of that fact on a daily basis. I constantly remind myself that other people's problems belong to them, and no one else. I am not to take them on as my own. Though if they need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to scream at, or even just a cup of coffee delivered because they're in pain from a spill on the ice, I'm right there. It's what I do. It's one of my many purposes in life, and I'll be damned if I let anyone or anything get in the way of that purpose. I am a Mother, Wife, Sister and a Friend. I've earned these titles, they were not just handed over, and I will continue to honor the privilage of these titles, by any means neccessary.