Thursday, April 4, 2013

Busting at the Seams

I was once told that I missed my calling, after having written some lovely bits on Facebook about random people who sent me a number privately, then posting their number with how I feel about them publicly. I'm thinking about doing that again. It's interesting to see who responds.

There is a multitude of ways that I am "busting at the seams," as it were. First, ugh, my weight. I started two new jobs at the beginning of this year (I shall get to that later,) and the new schedule through my eating habits into a whirlwind. After an undisclosed number of pounds later, I said enough is enough. I got my gym membership back, and I've been paying closer attention to my food intake. I was calorie counting, but I've stopped for the moment.

I've become borderline addicted to running. I think it's because there is an infinite number of goals to create for oneself. Last summer I planned to run a 5K for charity. Between school and finances, that goal fell by the wayside. I'm back at it. My 5K interval run/walk is at about 42 minutes right now. Considering I've been at this for about 6 weeks, with a one week spring break hiatus, I'm thinking that's pretty damn good. Tonight I ran a mile straight through, a feat I couldn't even pull off in high school. My biggest battle is not getting bored with the treadmill. According to the calendar, it's April 4th. Mother nature feels it is February 4th. Running in the real world will, hopefully, be more interesting.

So, as previously mentioned, I started two new jobs at the beginning of the year. Firstly, I found a fantastic space to massage out Oostburg. I swore I would never go back save for visiting family. I had a client tell me the other day that Oostburg isn't what it used to be, referring to children who come to school with inadequately warm clothing in the winter, obvious signs of neglect and things of the like. It's like everyone thought Oostburg was immune to such things, and real life is finally settling in. The town still drives me batshit crazy, but I've been fortunate in having some amazing clients come out of the area. As for our budget, everything I make doing massage is "extra," and I feel blessed that a pretty fair amount has been coming in.

The other job just landed in front of me at the right time. I now work in the office of Theater for Young Audiences. I litterally got the call from Deb saying that I was hired for the job the same week I signed the contract for my massage office space. 2013 greeted me with quite a smile.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of how blessed I am. It's truly hard not to brag. In both jobs, I'm fairly in control of my own schedule, with the flexability to be there for the kids when and if the need arises. Not only that, but I have this altogether unique sense of self. OK, sure I take my pentacle necklace off for most massage clients. But let's face it, I'm doing what I went to school for, and LOVE IT. It rarely feels like work.

TYA is a horse of a different color. Much of it is traditional office work; book keeping, paying the bills, responding to emails, etc. But I will never forget the morning after my husbands grandmother passed away, when Deb comes in, needing to learn how to juggle scarves for the upcoming show. She had a bag of sheer scarves, I did some YouTube searches, and next thing you know, I'm juggling scarves in the office. What better way to get out of a funk.

Oh, and this freedom to do things, like attend discussions, go to the gym, hang with friends without praying $5 will be enough. That, without a doubt, is the most alien feelign to me.

We have had the boys full time since last October. That has been an adventure in itself. I won't say it's been perfect, but gods knows this needed to happen. The family has had some growing pains, and the frustration of issues past are still very much here and alive. Having more control of the situation has been a blessing and a curse. It feels good that we are no longer fighting the 'one step forward, two steps back' battle we faught for years. At the same time *in my best whiny voice,* parenting is haaard! I say that tongue in cheek, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lastly, there is Earthfest. Kathy has hung up her hat and asked me to take the reigns. I technically said yes, but I haven't done nearly the amount of work I should have at this point. At some point, I stuck my head in the sand, and it is slowly being pulled out. I will get there, as I have no other choice. I have faith that it will be OK, and that's what keeps me going.