Sunday, February 15, 2009

Never a dull moment

Typically, I'm totally ok with not having dull moments. I'm just one of those people who like things to be going on at all times. Except for when I'm stuck at work late three nights in a row.

I know, working in food service, staying late when needed is part of the deal, and this does happen on a regular basis. However, my boss is a bit of a Labor Nazi, so she's always making sure everyone gets out on time whenever possible. This weekend was just insane from the delivery angle, and perhaps elsewhere as well, I'd have no idea, so there I was, whether I liked it or not.

Tonight I had a meeting with the other Earthfest organizers at 7:00, which is also when I was scheduled until. So imagine my frustration when we ended up with yet another busy night. Thankfully I was out by 7:20, and the others knew I was going to be late.

This has been a rough week all around. I've been feeling very down about busting my ass at work for what seems to be little to no recognition. I've also gained back what little weight I lost. I don't have the heart to change my weight loss ticker. I'm hoping to find out if my insurance will cover my talking to a nutritionist or someone of the like at the clinic. I know the general guidelines of what I should and should not eat, but I think I need specific rules to follow. I think that will be much easier to follow as opposed to "well, I'll just have a cheeseburger here and there," And by 'here and there' I mean whenever I don't have time to have a decent bite to eat at home.

This has not been a positive week. I can feel myself slipping back into the downward spiral I went through back when I worked at Pizza Hut the first time around. I'm not going to go into great detail about those days, but I was a manic mess. Now is a different time, though. I have obligations to my husband and daughter. I have many more responsibilites, and most of all, I simply don't want to go down that path again.

I've decided I'm going to try to do a Mini-Pagan Camp this summer. There is a huge camp put together by Circle Sanctuary called Pagan Spirit Gathering (PSG). It's about a 15 hour drive from here and is getting increasingly more expensive to attend. There is a fair sized Pagan community here, and I think it's time I try to start a small gathering here.

Aaron pointed out to me that he thinks I tend to start up these projects when I need to feel in control. Or at least when I'm very much not in control at my job. My history does seem to create a connection. However, I feel like I should be doing something positive that improves the community around me. At work I don't feel like what I do is anything significant, so if there's a work/project connection, it lies in feeling valid. Plus I'm just one of those people who always needs to have something going on. He knows this about me, too.

I'm probably going to end up over my head, like I tend to do, but that's the fun of it. Seeing what your limits are. Five years ago I would have never considered this type of project. Wish me luck...

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