I just don't know anymore...

I'm feeling a bit off right now, and my right hand is really, really cold, so I'm having a hellova time typing. Anywho...

So, Aaron's working a temp job this week. It's nowhere near permanant, but it kinda gets him back into the swing of things. Hopefully this is a good sign that there is at least SOMETHING out there, now. I'm not holding my breath. I think this is good for the both of us, though. It's been five months since Aaron's been out of work. Sadly, I almost feel more productive when I'm here by myself, with Autumn, of course. It's kind of this weird feeling that - even though you are married and live together - you need to entertain the other person here, which prevents me from being motivated to do housework. I don't mind housework, and Autumn is pretty cooperative when I want to get things done. I just haven't had the desire lately. Heck, I even did dishes yesterday, and that's usually Aaron's territory.

Next, I'm starting to seriously reconsider staying with Home Instead...again. We really need the little bit of extra money, but I just had two former clients pass away this week. Both were in their 30's. One passed last year, and I found out via newspaper obit the night Aaron and I went out for our anniversary. I was very close to her, so to the point that I brought Autumn to see her while she was in a nursing home. I took care of that woman through a good part of my pregnancy. These last two, I weren't particularly close to, but one was a friend of my uncle's, and the other I took care of for most of my pregnancy, even though we didn't quite "get along", per se. It's still not that easy.

I had a good workout at the Y today, though. And if I didn't this paragraph would be written much differently. I haven't lost any weight in months. I know my diet has a lot to do with that, but the timing of my job, and the fact that it's friggin' Pizza Hut is killing the whole plan. I'm feeling very stuck, and there are more and more days when I wonder why I even bother going to the Y. Like I said, today brought a good workout, where I gave myself a goal and actually stuck to it. I'm going to a weekly workout class called Zumba. It's based on a lot of Latin dance, and it's actually a lot of fun, except for the fact that I have the rhythm of a white girl. And that I'm totally envious of the gorgeous redhead that leads the class. But the participants come in all shapes, sizes and abilities, so I don't feel like I stand out, which is a good thing.

Today's been a good day so far. Autumn's sleep pattern completely meshed with what we needed it to this morning, she's taking a good nap now, and I'm feeling alright. I've been on an antibiotic for this apparently "chronic" sinus issue I've been dealing with. I had sinus problems for 6 months of my pregnancy, thinking it was just the wonky hormones. But when I got it again, I hit the doctor's office once the one month mark hit. I'm NOT going another six months like that. And it seems to be working. Yay.

Daisy's empty cage is still sitting behind me. It's been nearly a month, I just realized. And a tear is still welling up behind my eyes. We were supposed to do a little something to honor her at the Ostara ritual, but it was cancelled due to the fact that the host family came down with a nasty stomach flu. I don't know what to do with it. It's junk, really, since there's a large crack on one side. I just don't have the heart to move it yet.